Hey Mom! Taking a Guilt Trip? How to Unpack Your Bags - A Guest Post by Lynn Banis

Monday, September 20, 2010

Mom's are notorious for going on guilt trips. I personally think they are a waste of time and effort. If you can do something about what you feel guilty about do it; if you can't do something about it let it be. In either case, drop the guilt trip. It only zaps you of energy and creates drama in your life. I'm sure you have plenty of that already without adding more through guilt! Don't let other people send you on one either. Nobody can buy you tickets unless you let them. Close the ticket office and make it off-limits to everyone.

Here are some of the more typical things moms feel guilty about. You probably can add your own to the list.

1. Feeding baby formula. Whether this is on occasion or all of the time it can get mom's upset. You do not have to be the sole provider of sustenance for your baby. You get to decide what you are going to feed him and when you are going to feed it to him. Don't let other people's opinions make you uneasy. You are not going to harm your child unless he has an allergy in which case there are ways to address those needs as well.

2. Letting your kids eat junk food. As long as this is not a constant thing it is probably all right. Everyone loves a little of it. Don't let it be a treat though. If you do then kids begin to think of it as something special and they want it even more.

3. Leaving you child with a babysitter or other caregiver. This is a fact of life now. Most families need two wage earners to make ends meet. The trick here is to do your research and be very confident that you have your child in a place that is best for her and that she will get great care. If you have done that she will be fine.

4. Using the TV as a babysitter. Sometimes there is no other way to get your work done. I don't recommend this as an all day, every day thing but for an hour a day it is ok. I know moms who use that time to get their shower and do their hair. Some even sit in the tv room working on their computers as their kids watch a bit.

5. Yelling at your kids. While this is not ideal it does happen occasionally. Kids need to know that you have feelings and that you can get exasperated. When you lose control though you teach your children that that is acceptable behavior. I would encourage you to apologize when you do it and explain what your feelings were at the time. If you have a habit of yelling at your kids then I think you should examine your own behavior and get some help if you can't control it.

These are just a few of the guilt trips that moms tend to take and some things to do to get over the guilt. What are other ones that trip you up?

Lynn Banis, PhD, MCC

The High Performance Coach

Read more posts from the Hey Mom Series here, here and here, or click on the "Parenting" tab under Labels in my side bar. Moms work hard and deserve encouragement! Please share this post with other Moms you know.

Lynn is a Master Certified Coach with years of experiences helping moms through tough situations. She would love to answer your questions on a weekly basis. What are you struggling with? What questions do you have about getting through the day? Leave her a few comments with your questions and concerns and she will be happy to write about them in future posts. To find out more about Lynn and how she can help you live your passion, visit her at: www.discoverypointcoaching.com/blog
Alicia said...

Great post!! I know I've felt guilty at times for a couple of them!!

Vic said...

Love this! None of us are perfect. I don't hide things from my kids...i think it's important for them to see us get angry, upset, sad, and mad....we're human! It teaches them how to deal with it....gosh i'd better stop before I write a post..haha:) xoxo

ella said...

My guilt trip is over not playing enough with my children. I would love to spend less time on housework and more time just hanging with them, I'm working on it but there always seems to be so much to be done around the house.

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