Momfinitions

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I'm joining in some fun over at twittermoms and listing a few of my "momfinitions" or mom definitions. Stop by Megan's Calhoun's twittermoms site to learn more!

Here are my 5 Funniest Momfinitions per contest rules:

Cactus Limbs - what you get when you have mere seconds to shave in the shower before your children kill each other in the living room.

Hole-y Crap - what's left in the yard after your preschooler picks up the dog poo with a stick.

The Mominator - she appears on the rampage, barking orders and spewing threats after a long night of no sleep and a full day of crabby kids.

IBS - Irritable Brain Syndrome - this happens after having two or more kids, when brain farts are taken to a whole new level. ie. Hmmm that's odd, the milk is in the cereal cabinet again. Damn that IBS! I'll have to drag the kids to the grocery store yet again today.

Mammaries - these are full and plump and located about 5" below your collar bone.
Moomaries - these are swollen and bloated and located about 3" below your chin.
Momaries - these are saggy and shriveled and located somewhere south of your 6th rib.
(Yes, I'm counting the above trio as one definition since they are a progressive description of one pair of jugs, hooters, breasteses, tatas...whatever you like to call your girls; though technically, I concede that they are not one unless you sport a uniboob.)

Here are a couple extra that I couldn't help but add in for good measure:
Fabric Glue - the remnants of fruit snacks holding your child's underwear to his shorts when you pull them out of the dryer.

Static Cling - the state of being of a child engaged with any electronic media device. Call his name, wave your hands in front of his face, tell him you are moving to Gnome, Alaska, you'll get no movement and no response.

Do you have some momfinitions you'd like to share? Leave me comments! If I win the $100 for the most comments I'll share the wealth and draw a winner from my commenters who'll receive $25. Come on, join in the fun! Leave a separate comment for each momfinition for one entry each. Show me whatcha got :D

For loads more fun with Momfinitions visit Parents Connect or twittermoms!

Summer said...

Cactus limbs, yep I'm sporting them. :)

mimi said...

Love those!

How about...Mushy Mom...what my brain feels like right now and why I can't come up with a good momfinition!!

Not very good...but it's all I got right now ;)

Anissa said...

I love the Cactus Limbs! LOL
I just did that in the shower -- I hate to shave in the shower.

Heather said...

Oh! Those just MADE my day. I love "mominator":)

Chris said...

congratulations! you won at mckliny's 100 dollars giveaway!!! :D

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Congratualtions on winning the hop....Enjoyed reading your blog...

Michelle said...

Love the mominator

Too Many Hats said...

Love the booby ones - LOL

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Those are hilarious! :)

Melissa said...

Those are hilarious!!! Thanks for the laugh!

ScottChrisCoriCassiCali said...

Thank you for the lovely welcome. Your blog is super cute and looks like loads of fun. I'm sure we will cross paths again sometime. Cheers,
Christie

Dirtdart's Wife said...

Thanks for the laughs.... hylarious!

Congrats on winning the MckLinky Hop!

Orange Juice said...

that's so funny! I don't have any too add my brain power stops after reading them.

Seriously funny!

Shana said...

I love the Holey Crap definition. I laughed so hard at that!!

McNew Family said...

Those are some awesome definitions! I particularly enjoyed the 3 stages of the "sisters"!

Clueless_Mama said...

I can't think of one, but wanted to leave you a comment anyway. Good Luck.

throuthehaze said...

Funny! good luck!

chubbydove said...

my lil girl would love the 50 fairy things to make and do book

Shop with Me Mama said...

Haha! Love it!

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