Quotable Sunday - Truths

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure. ~Murphy's Law

If there is something you must do and you cannot do it, you cannot do anything else. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

I tell you this, and I tell you plain:
What you have done, you will do again;
You will bite your tongue, careful or not,
Upon the already-bitten spot.
~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. ~Author Unknown

A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist. ~Franklin P. Jones

It's always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped. ~Author Unknown

An unwatched pot boils immediately. ~H.F. Ellis

If you wonder where your child left his roller skates, try walking around the house in the dark. ~Leopold Fechtner

Anything you lose automatically doubles in value. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. ~Will Rogers

When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time. ~Author Unknown

How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire? ~Christy Whitehead

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. ~Author Unknown

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. ~Author Unknown

Why do they put the Gideon Bibles only in the bedrooms, where it's usually too late, and not in the barroom downstairs? ~Christopher Morley, Contribution to a Contribution

It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. ~Grace Hopper

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance. ~Author Unknown

If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered. ~Edgar Allan Poe

People who snore always fall asleep first. ~Author Unknown

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. ~Author Unknown

For More Quotable Fun visit LT at A Day With Two.

A Day With Two

Unknown said...

A ton of good ones today! I laughed at a bunch of them because they are so true!!

Aimee said...

These are great! The general theme of them kind of describes my day today!

Liz Mays said...

Erma Bombeck and the grocery store quote...why does that have to be so accurate?!!

Help! Mama Remote... said...

I dind't know the odds were stacked up against me on the loaf of bread. Ugh I'm doomed!


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