Hey Mom, Feeling Stuck? A Guest Post By Lynn Banis

Monday, June 28, 2010

Anybody in this bloggy world feeling stuck? Unfortunately getting stuck happens frequently to Moms who are trying so hard to be all things to all people. One big reason is that we start to let ourselves be defined by our roles. Think of all the roles you play – mom, wife, housekeeper, chef, taxi driver, financial manager, gardener, medic, school teacher, disciplinarian, etc., etc., etc. You are all of those things and more.

We get stuck when we allow ourselves to be defined by the various roles we play rather than by who we are at the core. Each time we make a mistake or fall down in one of our roles we feel defeated – like a failure in all things. That simply is not true.

We also get so caught up in trying to do all things well that we begin to feel like a piece of Swiss cheese with everyone taking a big bite out of us all the time. No wonder we don’t feel whole or centered! We are stuck trying to be everything to everybody and that is just not humanly possible.

Take a step back. What have you lost of yourself trying to be Super-Mom? What kinds of stresses are you letting yourself experience? You have a choice. You can opt for the run-full-
out-exhaust-yourself Mom role or you can adapt the I-am-fullfilled-and-centered-relaxed Mom role.

Here are some quick steps to take to get yourself back in control and out of stuck places:
1. Check those should, oughts and musts. Don’t let them rule your life.
2. Practice “How can I?” not “I can’t!” thinking.
3. Identify and stick to your core values.
4. Decide what can be done 80% and let that be sufficient.
5. Set boundaries. What are you willing to do? What will you give up? What will you gain by setting boundaries? How will you keep your boundaries intact? What will you do when your boundaries are crossed? Who can support you in keeping your boundaries?

 These are just a few steps you can take immediately. Next week I will take you a bit deeper into getting unstuck. In the meantime, if you are interested in pursuing this, you can get my ebook, “The Top 5 Ways to Quickly Get Unstuck” at http://stores.lulu.com/store.phpfAcctID=52435493.

Until then, be good to yourself –you are worth it!
Lynn Banis
The High Performance Coach

Lynn Banis is a professional coach dedicated to helping people make their work and lives work for them. She is passionate about people living lives of power and passion. Her clients call her The High Performance Coach and she specializes in helping people get unstuck and moving on to greater success. To find out more about Lynn and how she can help you live your passion, visit her at: www.discoverypointcoaching.com/blog

Help! Mama Remote... said...

This is a great post. I've been there many many times. Feeling stuck....can cause you to become depressed.

sheila said...

Great post. Thankfully I'm not stuck myself, lol. For once. :o)
Great stuff here though Melissa!

Liz Mays said...

Great advice! I should listen to that more. I tend to get overwhelmed, but if I really would step back and maybe break it down into manageable chunks, I'd be ok!

More Than Words said...

Great post!!! I'm so glad you guest posted!!


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